"you just might find...you get what you need"

i have the most vivid memory from back in the day of all my brothers singing "you can't always get what you want" to me. at the time-i'm sure i wanted to go somewhere my parents didn't want me to go,wanted a new toy that i really didn't need, or to go eat at a restaurant no one else wanted to eat at(forever the red lobster/chilis debate from orlando-1996) so my brothers would sing this to me. Especially emphasizing that I would GET WHAT I NEED. truth be told-i don't remember too many times when i didn't get what i wanted. i'm not talking about toys here-i'm talking about really wanting something or for something to happen-that didn't.there also haven't been too many situations where i couldn't ask for advice, mull something over in my head for a bit and come up with a solution. well finally at the ripe age of 24-this has happened. It's actually not that I didn't get what I want-it's that I don't know exactly WHAT i want. This is untraveled terrain for me. So I decided that the time for me to sort it all out would be my little 2 week vacation from school. I'd have time to really digest everything going on and figure out exactly what I wanted. I planned a trip to Rochester to see Rob,Ash, and Wheaton and then I planned a trip home. At both of these places i'd be surrounded by people who loved me and who had invaluable advice to dispense. So I went to Rochester. I had the best time ever. Wheaton can make anyone forget about anything except what an adorable boy he is. I'm telling you-that trip was just what I NEEDED. I thought Rob,Ashley, and I would sit around for hours debating my issues and come up with a solution. We didn't. We actually ended up debating some big decisions they will be making in the near future about where to move next. They don't know exactly what the future holds for them or where it will take them. They are at their own crossroads. What do they know? That whatever they decide will work out. Somehow, someway-it WILL all come together and work out. "It always does", Rob reminded us. It was the best visit ever. Not what I was expecting, but then things rarely turn out to be what we expect. During my visit to Rochester, I didn't get the advice I originally went searching for from Rob and Ashley. I saw them in action. Wondering what was going to happen and deciding to trust in their decisions. They "lived" advice. That-and Wheaton is the best therapy EVER. So then onto Memphis. Let me preface by saying that last Monday-the day before I left for Memphis-grandpa fell and ended up breaking his hip and wrist. So I had the gut feeling my "relaxing,calm trip" would probably be replaced with some caretaking. This was okay. I love my grandfather more than anything and was glad I would be able to see him- because I knew it would give him a little extra cheer. Still though-there would be plenty of time for figuring out my stuff. NOT THE CASE. From the time I set foot in Memphis to the time I left-it was pretty much constant go go go. When I wasn't visiting my grandfather, it was taking care of my grandmother. Mom and I went to Union City to visit my grandmom. We went wedding dress shopping for Erica. I had the greatest time hanging out with all these people. But did I ever really just veg out and ponder the complexities? No way. No time for all that. So when I finally got into the car on Sunday and headed back to Austin-I started thinking about the visit. It was definitely not the kind of visit home I envisioned. But it was exactly what I needed. Again, my parents just kind of "lived" advice. They worked together to make decisions about where my grandparents will be short term/long term. It's no secret that it will be tough for them to live right next door to mom and dad. I love my grandparents very much and so does my mom-but it will be tough on her. So I asked her-"what are you going to do?" Her response? "I'm going to do whatever it takes. I have no idea right now-but we have today figured out and tomorrow. When it's time-we'll figure out the rest." TADA TADA TADA. And then I heard bells. She doesn't know what will happen. My dad(who knows everything. seriously)-he doesn't know either. He says the same thing-that they will figure it out step by step. So I came back to Austin, caught up on my sleep, and now I sit here writing. I found that I got exactly what I needed(can't I just hear the brothers voices..."you just might find-you get what you need" -i love them all so much). Not through the way I had anticipated or hoped-but through the situations that life throws at you when you are feeling too comfortable.I didn't get advice from everyone on how to deal. I didn't have a huge revelation walking ali at shelby farms. I saw people handling things. Making decisions as they needed to be made. Day by day. And through that- I found my answer. What I know for sure(oprah) is that I just have to do what is right for right now. Eventually-I will live my way into the answer(that's from one of my favorite quotes found elsewhere on this blog). Until then. I'll be eating all the Phils 78704 burgers and onion rings that my heart desires(best ever burgers-no debate necessary). i'll make my decisions one day at a time and I'll just keep living. day by day.