the times they are a changin'

'come gather 'round people, wherever you roam.'


it's funny because when TJ and I had been dating long enough for this to be acceptable, I would hear 'the times they are a changin' come out of his mouth quite frequently. Never in a negative way, just in a cute, endearing way that reminded me that by meeting him, my times, well they were a changin.' It would be about the music we listen to in the car...me: 'but TJ, I always listen to country on the radio...TJ: the times they are a changin.' or me: I always go see Rom Com's on THE WEEKEND they come out... TJ: they times they are a changin.' Let me just state for the record, I should have hummed this more than him. I'm not quite sure he knew what he was in for when he asked me out-but(and I think I speak for both of us here) we're sure glad he did. He probably never envisioned a life of watching a marathon of a popular ABC family show with me on a Saturday night. And he most certainly didn't imagine that he'd ever be humming along to Taylor Swift. And be kind of happy about it. But he does and he generally does it with a smile on his face. And my times have changed too. I have been introduced to new music, new hobbies, and just generally a different way of looking at life. And boy, I am sure glad about this.

I preface my post with the above paragraph because I think it sums up where this blog is headed. I like to think I'm just the same ole' Mary, with the same old ramblings. And yes, that part of me is still here. But there is a new part here too. The part of me that is about to become a wife in less than 9 months! I couldn't be more overjoyed for this next part of my life, and I just feel like because of the spot I am in-I will have lots more to write about on here. I was the girl in my mid-twenties living on dreams and spaghetti-o's for a while, and I'm not too pretentious to say that we'll never live on dreams and spaghetti-o's again. But this time, we're doing it TOGETHER. The thing is, I do have a bit more of a clue about where life is headed now. It's headed in the direction called 'we're getting married!' Wow. It's still crazy to say. But it's true. A dream come true.

Truth is though, we're relatively young. We've learned a lot in our journey together so far, but we know we have TONS more to learn. And so I am going to share tidbits about our life together. Fun things we do, things we have figured out, things we're working on(still figuring out what music to listen to in the car), how we learn each day to love each other better, ways we learn to love each other better, things we cook, things we try. Basically-this will be about us. About our road to becoming Mr. and Mrs. Three. And if you're lucky(ha), it just might continue after we become that couple. OFFICIALLY.

So here's to us and here's to you! Thanks for reading. Please visit often. I can promise you one thing...you will not be bored.


ps, I'm not changing the site name of the blog because people know this one-it's easier that way!

snakes and caves and non-paths OH MY!

i refuse to make this post about scary things. like caves, snakes, and 'non-paths.' no, that's not what I'm going to do at all. instead, I am just going to show you a few pictures of what Jack and I did last Friday. it ended up being great fun! it was an amazingly gorgeous day! we started out early and ready for adventure...next thing I know he has me in a cave with no foreseeable way to where we are going or a way back to our car (and a way out of all this fright). oh, woops. i forgot...not making this post about that kind of stuff. back on track, mar, back on track.

here I am in that cave though. :) it was treacherous at best. and once J saw that I was fearing for my very life-he was oh so very patient with me! snaps for Jack on that front.here we are at the final destination. (did I mention that to get there was a fright?) it was beautiful, peaceful and everything else lovely and nice. except for when Jack was bouldering. that part was both nerve-wracking and fun to watch all at the same time. either way, it was quite lovely out there on the water.

on the way back we took a REAL LIVE PATH! oh. my. goodness... thank heavens for paths! we walked back through the forest...


and eventually we ended up here.

it was beautiful also. despite the generator, the silt spill, the divers and absolutely NO WHERE to swim. it was beautiful still and I'm glad I convinced J into making the hike down there with me! can't wait to go back when we can fully enjoy it.

also, I feel like I have to defend myself for a sec. although I don't claim to be my slimmest ever. as a matter of fact i am quite, quite the opposite actually-I do feel as though that dress + the wind = very unfortunate photo op. here's to hoping that's what it was.


it was a great day all in all. and I guess that on days like these and in life in general... in order to get to the fun, to get to the beautiful, to get to the 'worth it' ...you have to be willing to 'walk through the wild a bit.'

letter to my younger self

One of my favorite books to pick up and read over and over is called "What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self." Forty well-known women write short letters passing their current wisdom to their younger selves. I highly, highly recommend this to anyone-in any age and stage of life. So, without further ado, I am going to steal this idea and write to myself at age 23. I was in the stuck in Memphis when I wanted to be in Austin. I was just back from Chicago and the flight school debacle and already planning my next adventure.



Dear Mary,


Be content in each moment. Please learn this now. It is such an important skill to have in life. You just got back from Chicago. You thought that flight school was the answer-but if you're being honest with yourself then you can admit that you knew all along it wasn't the life for you. You love family and friends too much to be so far away for so long. You are just wanting to do something. Anything really. You know that you want an exciting life and life in Memphis isn't so exciting. So before you can really settle back into your home(your home that you love so much with your family you love so much... by the way ) you are already plotting your next escape. Why are you escaping? Learn to be happy here. You will learn to-but learn now. Learn to be happy in all circumstances. Find good in every little thing. What you don't know right now about your time in Memphis is that it will really change your life. And all for the better. You will re-become best friends with some of your oldest and dearest friends. You will be with your best high school friend the night she gets engaged. You'll be with another life long best friend through a tough break-up. And since you're in Memphis long enough-you'll get to watch her fall in love again. With someone right for her. Sure, you're going on dates with your parents right now while your friends are out on real dates. I know that is kind of tough for you. Soak it up sister. Your time will come. This time is a precious opportunity to get to know your parents as an adult. You're forming your own ideas and opinions about everything and now you're starting to see why your mom did things just the way she did. You won't be able to eat special 'mom's out of town dinners' with your dad when you live somewhere else. Goodness, I can't reiterate enough how special this time in your life is. You'll eat pizza with your grandparents every week. Mary, realize now how precious life is. Soak up every opportunity to learn from the family you love so much. Things change, and when parents are in their 60's and grandparents are in their 80's and 90's, there's really no guarantee. There is really never any guarantee. What you are so scared of, Mary, is being around your beloved aunt Ellen. It's so hard to watch someone be so sick. No one knows what to do in that situation. No one knows what to say. Just be there. Even when it's sad and scary. Be there. You go to movies with her, watch movies with her and you're around-but really be there. Not only does Aunt Ellen need you, your mom needs you to. This is her sister after all. Think about if it were one of the brothers. This might be the hardest thing your mom has been through yet. You need to step up, put on your big girl panties and be better. Be more helpful. At the end, you do just this. You get bravery from someone much more in control than you. You are there. To hug your mom and your grandmom and your uncle on their very worst day. Way to go!! You're starting to get it. You'll wish you had stepped up sooner. So Mary, I beg you, learn now that life is short, time is precious and you shouldn't waste one minute of your life wishing you were somewhere else. You're going to get wherever it is you're going. Be content with where your life is now. Trust me. You'll have lots more 'in between' times. You need to learn to be content always. Don't wait for life to begin at some other point. Your life is unfolding right now. Make sure you don't miss one second of it. Mary, you have an amazing life-with tons of people who love you. You're going to meet so many more. Life in Austin will change you too. You'll meet lots of new friends ...who won't replace the old ones, but they'll be super special to you too. They will become your 'family' in Austin. Family you eat with, family who buys you toilet paper, family you road trip with and family you cry with. You'll also meet a very special someone else there. So when an old college friend asks you to hang on a hot Sunday in July-forgo your nap and GO swimming! Trust me on this. Live life. It's way to short to be napping. Also, be kind to everyone you meet along the way. Each person has their own story, their own battle. This is something else you should pick up on now. Lastly, always, always remember your mom's favorite song lyrics "if you get the chance to sit it out or dance...I hope you dance."



Someone who has learned a few things,

Your 28 year old self

back by 'popular' demand. (and by popular I mean...2 of you asked for it...)

so sorry you all. (and by 'you all' I clearly mean the 2 people who occasionally have stopped by this little non-blog this past year while I've been gone). i've been seriously absent from 'dreams and spaghetti-o's' and for good reason. i think when I last left off it was because I was so just generally unhappy with my life, my sense of NON-direction for it and my general lack of anything too positive to say. and heaven knows you don't read blogs to get bogged down by someone elses issues(let's leave that to my favorite comedian blogger...2birds1blog). so I was hip deep in self pity, knee dip in confusion about the future and ankle deep in a life I didn't really see 'going places.' I wasn't depressed as much as I was confused. about where life was headed and where I was headed. that being said-i was kinda just feeling my way through life waiting on something to turn it around. it's hard to say when I 'officially' decided the kind of life I was okay with was not the kind of life I was leading. and there was nothing catastrophically wrong with it-with my life-nothing illegal about it, I wasn't hurting anyone...I just knew there was more than what I was settling for. I just wasn't happy with my day to day. I wasn't happy with some people I was taking up time with, wasn't happy with keeping busy all the time just to keep myself from thinking of all the things I should be pursuing, and definitely wasn't happy with the current job situation(or lack thereof as some people may have seen it.) Either way, one day something clicked and I just decided i was the only one who could change my circumstances-or at the very least-i decided I could do something about some of my circumstances. and as things tend to do when you surrender control-gradually life turned around a bit. I began talking to a working mom who desperately wants to be with her child-but is having to work right now. the job sounded like a good fit for me-but I just wasn't positive it was what I should commit to for the year. still though, I had the possibility of something different, new and exciting. and then one day-when I was really at the end of a very rapidly fraying rope on the relationship front-I went for a quiet and relaxing pool day at a good friends pool. and that was the day that would really change me. you know his name and if you don't then you probably aren't going to find this blog all that interesting. and I don't say that to be ugly-I say it to warn you that this is not a read that will be entertaining to someone who doesn't know or understand me that well. and it's probably an even better read if you're confused about whether to call him one name or another. :) I was just telling a friend the other day about how I've always thought it was sooo cliche to say 'when you meet the right one, you'll understand why it didn't work with anyone else.' but...and I'm so sorry to turn into this cliche...it's true. when I had my big pep talk with Cas as she was breaking up with her 'lesson learned' I remember repeating this phrase to her and every variation of it. I'm not sure that I believed it exactly to be true at the time-but I did know that it's what best friends said to best friends over copious amounts of margaritas. I also knew that my best friend deserved the very best of the best of the best. and so I told her that someday she'd meet the right one that would make this wrong one seem just that. wrong. and boy was I right. she found her prince...she found her king....she found Chase Papke. enough about that. all of this to say...I've said it, not sure I believed it until I did. I do. it's so, so true. And I think it's equal parts regret and wisdom. with a pinch of fate and a teaspoon of 'if only we'd met sooner...' I say this because as much as I try not to-I regret a little bit all the time and effort I put into other boys who I knew all along were not the one. I think it's wisdom for me to realize and accept that every little experience I've been through was preparation for meeting the one. Fate because...well just because. And 'if only we'd met sooner' because I do wish this frequently. I obviously wish it because my life is so much better with him and I can't really remember what it was like before. Actually, that's a lie-I do remember and I don't like that life near as much...but also because when you meet someone at 27-you tend to bring a bit of a past along. I understand there is wisdom in knowing and accepting that this 'past' was all a part of the future plan and I am positive this is a plan that someone far greater than me put into place. So everything about how we met, when we met and our relationship is perfect in timing and in this plan. And I don't dwell on these negative emotions. I just had to mention them to be real(I'm all about being real)... which brings me to the heaping amounts of love, grace, accommodation, forgiveness, understanding, romance and fun our relationship has. We are not perfect, but I happen to think we're pretty perfect for each other. It's taken a while to adjust to the high of 'we just met, oh my goodness, you can do no wrong' to 'we've been dating months now and this annoys me about you and I want you to understand this about me and so on...' and it comes from both sides. but it's wonderful. I feel like each day, each talk we learn more and more about what makes the other happy, frustrated, loved and sometimes just outright m-a-d. I wouldn't trade it for the world. This has by far been the highlight of my year/life. It's amazing how a relationship can bring out so much sin. Which I see in myself. Mainly in selfishness. As for my man, I'm pretty sure you all know how wonderful he is but may I sum it up by saying that he is currently watching "pride and prejudice' with me. not the 2 hour version...the at least 3 hour BBC version. So, yes, I'd say I'm a lucky girl to have found him. For many more reasons other than the fact that he'll watch not just any, but THE ULTIMATE chick flick with me. WOOHOO! And I could list off so many more ways he makes me feel loved, appreciated, and respected on a daily basis-but that's not where this is all going. I tell you all this about my life to say that I (hopefully) am back to blogging. Hopefully. But the tone of it will probably be a little different. Now I am neck deep in happiness and love. I am learning new lessons every day about everything. I have a focus now. A job that I happen to love(yes, for those of you who MIGHT not know-I took the nanny job, and aside from asking Jack to go to Chuys with us that night-it might be the best decision I've made all year. ) I am excited about my life-not the way I act and react some days-but just happy with the overall feel of it. I am confident in the direction it's headed and proud to go to work each day. I am one happy gal. That doesn't mean each day is perfect. And because I'm happy as a lark in my relationship-it certainly doesn't mean it's anywhere near perfect. I have to ask forgiveness at least weekly. But we are learning so many things, I am learning so many things. And because I've learned some things from other friends/blogs I might pass those along. And I think I've learned some things of my own worth passing along. Who knows. What I do know is that I've missed writing-and I want to get back to it. But I promise it won't all be preach-y and idea-y! I will post some good ole' fashioned 'here's what I've been doing' posts as well. So, as I've said before I won't beg you to come back-but if I see that no one's comin' I have one thing to leave you with...i ain't too proud to beg.