i'm back!

so i'm pretty sure it's no secret by now as to what my favorite song is. not like that is a fun secret anyways...point is-pretty much anyone who knows me knows that it's far and away REK's "feelin good again." there are lots of reasons that this is my favorite song but mostly because i don't think you can say those 6 words without smiling. at least, i know i can't. feels so good feelin' good again. but i will let you in on a little secret that few people know...see NOW you're in the inner circle. i always thought i loved that song because of the way it ended. if you don't know the song, well shame on you, but stop reading immediately and go have a listen. okay, now, you're back. see what I mean...bet you couldn't help but smile. but back to the ending. who doesn't want that in life. to have all their family and friends together in one spot and then look over to find that your one true love is there as well? i'm pretty sure you'd be fooling yourself if you say you haven't ever at least thought you wanted that. get real. you have. but i always thought that i LOVED the song so much because one day i'd have that life-changing "feelin good again" moment surrounded by all the people i loved and then prince charming would drop down on one knee and propose. so everytime i listened to the song i would just smile thinking of that day. until something happened. a couple of months ago my whole family was on a vacation together in colorado. we hadn't all been together in one place in over a year and so we were all pretty pumped to be together. there was one night where we were all eating burgers at a little restaurant and one of the brothers made a comment that made us all laugh until we were crying. at that very moment-those six words flashed through my head...feels so good feelin' good again. not that i had been feeling bad before that but it was just a moment in time where we were all together and all laughing. it was, at the risk of sounding extremely cliche, a perfect moment. you know the kind i'm speaking of-the kind of moments you want to bottle up and save for a day when things aren't so funny or relaxed. the kind of moment where nothing matters but the fact that you are happy RIGHT THEN. now, i'm gonna pause and insert a little tidbit here. i'm a happy person. i think you would all agree. so these moments are not rare for me. but the older i get, the more i realize how important it is to savor them because let's face it-the older we get the more we realize that life isn't always a perfect moment. but back to the point. i didn't really think about this moment anymore until last week. it was a particularly stressful week at school and just a rough week in general. last thursday night after my class i was driving home listening to the radio with the windows down(my favorite thing to do) and the weight of the weeks assignments and stress was lifted off my shoulders and i thought to myself...you guessed it-feels so good...!! so that got me thinking how many of these little moments i have on a daily basis where i feel so good...and then another song i love came on the radio. It's called "you're gonna miss this" and it's all about a girl who keeps wanting to fast forward her life to the next benchmark she thinks she needs to be at. out of high school, married, new house,kids...you know the drill. hmmm. and then i got it. these moments are my life. and i love it. it's not about the "big" moment, it's about all of these little moments. and yes, i know eventually i'll have a big moment that may or may not be the exact one i've "dreamed" of. judging by previous experience-it probably will be better than anything i can dream up.that's okay. i don't want to rush through this right now. i've seen people who are living the "benchmark" life and funny thing is they get what they want and it's still not ACTUALLY what they WANT. they are gonna miss THIS. i know that is not a novel idea, but when you see it firsthand, then it becomes real. i drove home that night vowing to live my moments. a good conversation. feels so good. an especially good run. feels so good. seeing my parents for the first time in awhile. feels so good. laughing with my brothers. feels so good. sliding down the giant slide with mary kate like i'm 4 years old myself. feels so good. a laugh until I cry moment with a good friend. feels so good. hearing wheaton tell me he loves me and saying AUUUSTIN,TX. feels so good. i could go on and on but you get the point. i'm so glad I finally got the point. and the best part is, now that I've discovered this, I love to count my "moments" in any given day. and let me tell ya, there are lots. I just never quite stopped to think about "feelin' good again" on a random Monday in July. but...guess what...it happens. and this revelation came to me at the perfect time. a time when all my close friends are getting married and engaged. obviously i'm super happy for them, but, i've seen other friends go through this before me and get down because they haven't found their mr. right. I guess I could be longing for that, but instead, i'm choosing to begrateful for this time in my life. someday, i'm gonna miss these moments. that is one thing I know for sure. for now I'm too busy trying to become the person I want to be for life which is kind of a time consuming thing. i like to say i'm "livin' on dreams and spaghetti o's." (okay, maybe dreams and turkey sandwiches...) like my mom always reminds me, someday my prince will come, but until that happens, you won't find me waiting. you'll find me living. living the little moments and feelin' good again each and every day.