Never saw my hometown till I stayed away too long

Last night-I was home by myself and listening to Tom Waits(he can make you think-that is for sure)anyways-I just got to thinking about how much this one line really meant to me. So here goes…


First let me state that I love Memphis, I love my family here and my friends. I just always knew from the time I was young that I wouldn’t LIVE here. So when crazy circumstances found me on an inbound plane towards Memphis International last April- I was pretty distressed. The one thing I always knew I’d do in life had not worked out. Even worse, I was back at square one. Back in Memphis. Ugh. Or so I thought. That day, the day I got back, I was already plotting my next move. I remember sitting and talking to mom in the kitchen telling her that yes, I do love “home” and everything that comes with it but NO, I do not want to live here at this stage of life. I vowed that day that I would be gone by January 1st. This was not part of the plan I’d made for life so I must get back on track as quickly as possible. I’d work a couple of months, hang out with old friends, and then pack it all up and move it on down the road. She just nodded and said they’d be supportive of whatever. I found a good job and started reconnecting with friends. Once you are away from something for awhile-you forget how good or bad it actually is. In my case, I had forgotten what an amazing life I had here. I forgot how fun it is to just have SOMETHING to do; to already have a group of friends. Best friends. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed dinner and movie night with my parents. I had forgotten how fun it is to go out and run into my older brother. I had forgotten how much I love to see my grandparents and hear their stories. I had just forgotten my “Memphis” life. Ever since I left for college, I was always looking for my next “home”. I was looking for somewhere more exotic where bigger and better experiences were sure to be had. But here I was-in Memphis-of all places- having the time of my life. Things have happened in these months that I could never imagine not being a part of. Whether it was seeing Ericas face the night she got engaged, or being there assuring another best friend- through her tears that she WILL find Mr. Right eventually. From just being there with my mom on one of the hardest days of her life- to going to visit my dad at work when I know he is having an especially tough week. - I cannot imagine not being here . There have been so many fun filled moments that I will remember all my life. But, as is usually the case with life, there has also been sadness. And to be quite honest-I couldn’t have handled it without “my Memphis” That is- my support system of family and the best friends anyone could ever dream of having. Because you really begin to learn the meaning of family(and by that I mean friends included) in the midst of tragedy. You realize that the same friends who you laugh with till you cry on Saturday night are the same friends who drive hours to show up and cry with you on a sad Saturday in December. They are the friends that know what it means to truly be there when you need them. It embarrasses me to know that I took so much for granted for so long. Sometimes I cannot believe how lucky I am to have such a loving family and amazing friends. I mean -these people know everything about me and still choose to claim me as family and friend. Why would I ever want to leave? I don’t know. But I know I must. It is just something I have to do for me. I know it will be hard and uncertain, and I know that there will be times when I wish I still lived at good ole 7616. I’ll wish I could meet E at the Georgia Pine or Cas for a margarita night. I'll miss all the silly times with my auntie sis. I’ll wish I could go eat with my parents at Tower room or drag John to eat Cici’s with me. But I also know something else. If life does not work out as planned then I always have a place and family to come home to. Yes, I’ll go out and (hopefully) make a new family of friends, but there will never be friends to replace my Memphis ones. Each and every one of them is one of a kind and will never EVER be replaced. They know who they are and I know wherever I am they will always be in my heart. Yes I will always have “ my Memphis” and I know now that I will never forget how comforting and special that is.
(sorry about the grammar errors and punctuation-I just typed as it came to me)

Ps-my college friends are the BEST too for a whole different group of reasons. I’ll post about them later!!