FLASHBACK FRIDAY: July 20th,2005-HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEETS!

Remember...we sat in the hospital all day waiting to meet the cutest,sweetest,most precious nephew EVER...my little sweets. HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY WHEATON! I only have "birth" day pictures and one year...no 2 year since I haven't seen him lately-no fear...next month...current pictures of my sweets will overtake this blog!

typical

via text

Mary: I hate mike vick. u?
Bubs: wearing his jersey as we speak

I love my bubs.

but seriously. i hope mr. vick is ASHAMED of himself. that is atrocious.

How do you move in a world of fog that's always changing things...

growing up is mostly scary!!

just another manic monday

sorry folks-nothing interesting to report...it's another monday BUT-haley is here,i'm going to see my wheaton in a month, and it's only about five days till happy hour! hope you all have a super week!

Once upon a time...

Who hasn't been here before? You know the scene…one margarita too many and you're still trying to convince her/him that there IS in fact-someone better for them. How many times have I been the one sitting in each position? Too many to count. But you know-when you're sitting there(in the friend position)-feeding that line to your friend that is hurting SO badly-truth is-you're not really sure. You can't guarantee anything. Your main job as friend is just to be sure she/he knows that you are there and that this is not the end. The end of what…I'm not sure-but you know after a bad breakup-you're just pretty sure it's the end of everything. Your life. Civilization. Whatever. You (as the friend) promise to be there when they need you. You bring your own experiences, you bring self help books, you bring booze. Whatever it takes. And sometimes-only sometimes does this actually work. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that MOST of the time-friend ends up back with the boy. And you know THE boy. The one you've just spent HOURS upon HOURS bashing. He did this…and don't you remember when he said this? And wasn't that odd? That didn't add up? And WHAT? I didn't even know about that? No way you're going back to him. Yea. How many times does he/she go back to him and the two of you NEVER-UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE discuss that night or the fact that you bashed MR. PERFECT all night long. That's okay I suppose. These things-well-they just happen. Sometimes friends just need friends to listen to them unload. Everyone has probably been in that position also. But how many times does it happen that your friend ACTUALLY does find someone BETTER for them? Not often. Or at least-I don't think that often. That is why-when it does happen-you revel in it. I mean you dance,scream,and do whatever else it takes to WOOHOO the fact that somehow-someway-something worked. I can say I have first hand experience with this. I'll save the name to protect the most fortunate girl I know. She knows who she is. We all know who the boy is. And the most amazing thing is-we don't hate THE(ex) boy. The one who started it all. He is a good guy. He WILL be great for someone else. Not for my best friend. I could beat him for the things he did to my best friend. But if we all went around doing that to all the guys that ever did "your mom and dem" wrong-well then we'd have no guys around. He is what we refer to as a "lesson learned." The whole point of this is-it does happen! Dreams do come true. Not in the way you think, not with who you think, not when you think. But they do. And prince charming and his princess? They will be the first to tell you- it's not always easy. There are tough mountains to climb even with the strongest of relationships. But there is someone. Who makes you happy. Makes you laugh. Doesn't make you worry. Or cry! Doesn't make you question yourself. He/She-yea-they are there. This is so hard to realize. Even now. Even for me. When I've seen the evidence. My bestest friend in the world-who I thought would never get past this one guy-has found someone who is just amazing for her. And I love him like I would love a 4th brother. With all my heart. Because he has done thing that makes him worthy. He has been the "good and right" guy. The one she thought would never come along. The one who is "Mr. Perfect"They are so much fun to be around as a couple because their love is contagious. It is open and honest and just makes you want to hug them both. And he(this guy who has made my best friend SOO happy) once said to me, "why would we ever be apart? That would be the worst possible thing ever. For both of us." Now does that not make you want to wait on the ONE?

*they both approved me telling their story*

sorry

research seminar overtakes my life. no good scoop or drama to report. my favorite bubs made me change the blog up a bit so that you wouldn't have a "seizure"(e for sure wouldn't know how to handle that...would you e?) while reading. but i'll leave you with a quote...


"My darling girl, when are you going to understand that 'normal' isn't a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage"
~Stockard Channing

seriously.

blogs are back

okay friends. sorry i've been rather MIA.(blogwise) i just needed to take a month or two, make some observations, and then try to reflect in a grown up texas-like fashion. NOT. Truth is-i've been too busy. And honestly-i'll probably be busy this month also-but hey-i'm gonna try to be better. I was actually kind of shocked at how many of you noticed I've not been blogging. I actually do have a lot to write about-the truth of the matter is-that with my darn research seminar class-i write all day and all night-so allow me this(BUBS IN PARTICULAR)-I write in apa style all day for that-everything is proper all the time blah blah blah-so here-it won't be proper or perfect. i can't figure out how to do paragraphs right on this thing-so deal with my craziness and my quotes. i do like to use those lots! this all being said...my most current ponder as you wander...

why is it that you always want the "bad" boy. And I don't mean bad bad-but just kind of the wild card. YOu want them and then you wait and wait for them to do something that proves they are not actually a bad boy-but rather a "good" boy. You wait for them to make the big gesture that shows they aren't so "bad" boy after all. And when you find the "good" boys you wait for them to do something that proves they are the slightest bit "wild"-not talking crazy-just-you know-grow a beard or buy a motorcycle(god forbid)-just SOMETHING slightly daredevilish. it's really quite confusing. i tend to mess up both ways because when you have one you want the other-and vice versa. just something I was thinking about today. i suppose the grass is always greener. Which is not to say that I like all "good" boys with beards and motorcycles. just an example. anyways-hopefully i'll come up with something a little more insightful for next time. till then. don't let the bed bugs bite!

"good night"-that's all he wrote...

i need more from my favorite hovel resident.

bubs should be proud? or embarrassed!

I was in Borders picking up a motorcyclist for a certain brother and perusing the dirt biking magazines for anything that looked like something he might like. Now, I know I don't look like the typical motorcyclist/dirtbiker magazine purchaser-but give me a little credit. I have 3 brothers. Surely I know something. But the guy looking next to me was like- "well what on earth do you know about dirt biking?" And to him I simply said, "Johnny Campbell is a good man." So thanks my bubs-because of you I left him speechless.

saturday night

I am totally alone tonite. The tv is playing in the other room and before I started this-I was just organizing my closet. This wouldn't be so out of the ordinary except that it's Saturday night. That might not be so out of the ordinary but this is also the fourth night in a row I've been home alone. I'm not used to this. I just moved out of a house where there was always something going on or someone to hang out with. If one friend wasn't available-another was. If mom was out of town it was out to dinner with dad. If dad was working late-it was a movie with mom. If they were both gone-hang with John time. You get my point. I'm not so used to being alone. Rewind a couple of years to the Dallas days-if i was home alone for the fourth night in a row-i would have been going completely INSANE. I would have surely escaped off to the mall or a movie. Something-anything to make me forget about the fact that I was alone in a city where none of my best friends or closest family was. But right here-right now-in this moment-I am content. Do I wish I had a friend here? Yes and no. I love my friends and the time we spend together laughing. But I love my alone time too. It's here when I analyze all my thoughts,lean on God, and make the big decisions. Most of the time when I tell people I am moving back to Texas they always ask the same thing. "What is going to make it different this time?" I never really knew what to tell them. I think this is a much cooler city-but that doesn't really make a difference. I'm going to be super busy with school-but at the end of the day-that isn't it either. The thing is-I am different. Not in ways that most people can see. I moved to Dallas at the wrong time for all the wrong reasons. I knew when I moved that it felt wrong. I couldn't describe it then either. Didn't want to describe or listen to my intuition telling me that something was not quite right. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. End of story. I was looking for a quick solution to a bigger problem. At that time -my circumstances decided my happiness and since I didn't have a lot of fun,family, or friends in the big D- i was miserable with a capital M. But all of that has changed. I can't tag this realization to a specific event but rather a series of events where I constantly saw people in bad situations be content. Maybe not necessarily happy-but making the best out of the situation. I couldn't understand how they were like they were. But now I understand. Or at least I'm starting to. If you can't find at least a little bit of good in every situation(whether good or bad) then you're in for a long miserable life. Nothing will ever quite make you happy and you'll always be looking for something more. You have to come to a place where your ok with being alone on a Saturday night. You have to come to a place where you say-"that didn't work out like I wanted, but at least I learned THAT from it." If you can't do that-life can get pretty miserable. YOu have to learn to trust that there is a plan that you fit into. As much as you try to orchestrate the way your life goes down-ultimately it will unfold according to the Plan. All these alone moments I've spent the last couple of days-well-I feel like I see the lesson in them. It's kind of like a story I read one time. A guy was driving his friends car across the country and wanted to listen to music. The radio was broken and his friend only had classical cds. This guy didn't like classical music. Only country. But he could only take no music for so long. So he put in one of the classical cds. At first he didn't care for them at all. But by the end of the trip-he had really grown to like the classical music. If he'd had the country music he wanted to listen to all along-he never would have realized that he actually liked classical. And that is the way I feel about this. God threw out my country music and gave me classical. Not exactly what I wanted-but what I needed. Him. As much as I wanted my friend to come visit this weekend-I believe it didn't work out because of this Plan. I needed this time to find out that I'm ok with "this time." I can handle the calm,the by myself,the quiet. I learn to put all my trust in something good and right. I have complete confidence that I am in good hands and in no time at all-I probably won't have this Saturday night alone time. That's not something you sit still enough to do when there is constantly something going on. And I love stuff going on. It's easy to be happy when someone is always there. But what I've realized is-you have to learn to be happy when there isn't someone always physically there. Otherwise-you'll always be wanting more. Don't get me wrong-I still LOVE visitors! And I want you all to come soon! But if you don't-I'll be okay. I have faith that this will work out. The same little intuition I had about Dallas-i've got it again this time. But this time-it's good. It feels like a fit. I am a different person than I was in Dallas. Looking back now-I wish I would have listened to my intuition more in life. It always turns out to be right. Whether I like it or not. But back to Austin-I feel like...this time I'll get it right.