temporary decisions

a good friend recently told me that there is "nothing as permanent as a temporary decision." I loved this quote, and, at the time, it made all the sense in the world to me. But lately, I've been thinking...is it really all that bad to make day by day decisions. Do things really have to be so decided and final? Should everything in my crazy 26 year old life be so intentional and calculated.

well,yes. I believe that it does. You see I have been talking to a couple of friends lately about this exact thing. Or kind of. You see when I first heard this quote-I took it one way, but after these conversations...I see it very differently.

An example: girl meets boy. girl likes boy, but isn't so sure that she like looooves boy. or vice versa. this is a random example folks. follow along please. anyways,she decides that for now...there is no one else she'd rather be dating so she'll just date him for now until something else, something better, or something more 'firework-sy' comes along. So this is a temporary decision. But let's just say that this relationship becomes comfortable and hard to get out of. Or let's say that another relationship was missed out on just because this temporary 'thing' that really wasn't going anywhere turned into 7 years. And then 7 years later, it's like why don't we just get married because that seems the thing to do after 7 years. And then that decision wasn't so temporary was it? I mean either way...getting married or not-it was still more than just a temporary decision-it kinda affected the whole course of life. Didn't it? :)

And let me pause for a sec to agree with you that THAT is life. I mean it's living,learning,making mistakes,figuring it out,making another mistake,repeat,repeat,repeat. This I know for sure. But something else I know for sure is that there are little things to do,steps to take to ensure that your life doesn't just turn into a merry-go-round of coulda,shoulda,wouldas or I wish I'd-a's!!

Another example, on a different note. Say you're stuck in a job. A job you don't care for at all and dread going to each and every day. (pause for me to note that NO ONE is going to wake up EVERY SINGLE day of their life and bound out of bed singing showtunes about going to work-what I'm talking about is a love and belief that you're work is meaningful.) But the thing is, you know the job. it's comfortable. you know the people. so you'll stay for...oh,let's say...another year. A temporary decision. And then next year comes and it's comfortable and waaaay too much work to look for another job- so you just stay until 5 more years have passed and you still wake up hating your job each and every day. And then 10 more years and you know the drill. it's kind of become a permanent decision.

Now,I could get on a soapbox about all kinds of examples here, but I'm going to refrain. Another good friend recently gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my head every since...'you can always go back and say more, but you can never take back what you already said.' so with that thought in mind, I'll let you conjure up in your own head some more examples...my point is just that life has a way of slipping by on cruise control if you don't make it your business to make sure you make the most of it!

it kind of reminds me of the song "he went to paris." now, this is one of my favorites-so if you've never heard it-stop reading and go listen or google lyrics immediately.

The way the song ends is a man talking about his life saying 'some of it's magic and some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way.' And I agree with this, life is good. And if you stay with that person out of comfort or that job out of comfort,or whatever... that doesn't mean your life is a failure. Not at all. It doesn't mean it's bad.

it's just not enough for me. And if you are being honest with yourself-it's probably just not enough for you either.

I think I want more than a good life. I want a great life. Scratch that...I want a phenomenal life. I'm talking one for the record books. To look back and know that I made the most of every opportunity and second that was offered to me. I do wish I had someone reminding me of this when I take 4 hour naps somedays-but as we've previously learned...life happens.

So I do believe that life has to be pretty calculated. Not over-planned , just well thought out. I'm the first to agree and AMEN the fact that life rarely ever goes as planned. But it shouldn't mean that we should settle for anything less than what we want or deserve. I also realize that you can't have everything you want, and sometimes wants change-but I do know that you're never happy until you know you've given it-whatever it may be- your best college try.

Nothing happens until you decide. I heard that somewhere recently and it's stuck with me like the last 10 pounds of my Italian adventure.

So I decide what it is I want and what it is I'm okay with. Life's too short to not be treated the way I deserve and life's too short to settle. For anything. In a marriage, in a job, in a friendship that isn't positive, or in a place that I don't like(not referring to Austin...I do loooooove Austin). And this concept can be applied to so many things. Life really is just too short. Why should I waste a minute of it being unhappy? When I have the ability to change that circumstance? (again,life is real...full of ups,downs,and turn arounds and circumstances you can't change-but I'm speaking of the things in our control).

And it's unfortunate-but it does seem that temporary decisions have an eerie trait of becoming permanent ones. Sometimes that's a good thing, often it's a bad thing.

**I recently visited my brother and his family. We were up late one night talking and I was asking his advice about something and he said, 'it's like I read in a golf book recently..."never go to dinner with bad putters".' People rub off on you. you rub off on people. So take this two ways. Don't hang with people who rub the wrong things off on you and be the person that rubs good things off on people. Does that make sense? I hope so. It's not really applicable to the rest of this-but it's good advice. Why would you ever want to be around someone who 'brings you down' so to speak? That's not part of the phenomenal life you deserve.

My point here is just as simple as this. There are many things in life that are out of our control. There are many however, that we have good control over. Decisions you make today affect things that happen tomorrow. Like it or not. Life is fluid. It's up,down,sideways,backwards and usually surprising. it's just always changing. Deciding something because it seems okay 'today' doesn't mean it's the best thing for 'tomorrow.' And those of you that know me know that I'm a very 'carpe diem' kind of girl. I say order dessert...heck order two(I did tonite!),go skydiving,laugh too much and too loud,dance with reckless abandon,do things like that-heck...get the tattoo. That's permanent-but not the same kind of permanent I'm talking about.(okay,don't get one on your head...). But I also think it's important to be mindful of some decisions. figure out what you don't want,what's not okay-and don't ever get to a place where you decide that it is okay...even just for 'now.' 'now' today turns into 'now' tomorrow turns into the rest of your precious life. figure out what you want. Do everything you can(within reason) to try and get it. Don't settle for a life you don't want. But, if you don't get every little thing you want, learn to be happy anyway. Just don't let life slip away and then wish that you would have waited a little bit longer instead of settling for this or for that. Make sure your temporary turned permanent decisions are ones you are happy with and proud of. neither of us deserve any less.

And trust me ...I need to be reminded of this almost minutely.

praise the Lord and pass the milkshake.